Valarius

The city was a hazy orange glow in the distance. Valarius turned once to look at it, but there was nothing back there for him. He slowed as he crested the hill. The very edge of the sky was kissed pink against the darkness. The air was cold but he didn’t feel it. The frost on the grass crunched under his boots but he barely heard it. He looked to the dawn, and waited for the sun to rise.

A long time ago, in memories he ached to recall, there had been light. In the sharpness of the light long shadows had stretched, and the patterns they made comforted him as he drifted between spaces. There had been glamourous parties brimming with ladies in gowns and men in tights. They had walked among them. They had been at home there.

Valarius had stood in many a ballroom and grand hall with his companions and watched the people eat and drink and dance. The family had always divided and worked in smaller groups. Valarius had worked with Alex and Molly. Molly had watched the parties with self-conscious yearning and curiosity in her eyes. Her aching desire to know what it was like to be one of the dancers painfully plain. Alex had watched Molly. Valarius had watched Alex. No one in the room had understood.

She could have been one of the dancers if she wanted. Frequently she was. It was never enough. Every night would end. The sun would rise on blood soaked floors and the three would be gone without ever truly understanding what had transpired from any perspective but their own. Alex forgave Molly her trespasses. He would overlook her weaknesses and her inclinations. He couldn’t help himself. Valarius would forgive Alex, and overlook the mistakes he made in ignoring Molly’s problems. He couldn’t help himself.

That day had been different. The family had made it to a new town. There was to be a grand ball that night. The sun burned bold and bright. The family had stayed gentle and quiet in the villa as they patiently readied themselves for the festivities. Everyone except Molly. Molly was tired, but no one had reported it. Molly was disturbed, but Alex had kept it quiet. Valarius had kept all their secrets. All would pay for their silence.

He had heard the screams before he smelt the smoke. Molly had made her bargain, cast her spell, but the cost was sacrifice. She would receive the skin of a dancer, walk amongst the people she watched without the need of a glamour, drink water and wine. In return her family would burn. She was no fool, and the fire she had started was out of control as soon as it had begun. Outside summer was glowing. There was nowhere to go.

The corner of the basement had been cold with the dampness of stone and earth. Valarius had clawed at the unlined walls until his nails were gone and his fingers bled. Alex had appeared in the doorway, hands blistered from trying to save others from the fire. The basement became hot and the air was all smoke. They waited without breathing as they listened to the family burn to death in the house above.

A scream at an inopportune moment caused Alex to bolt for the stairs again. They both recognised the voice of his little sister. That was when the foundations gave. The burning ruins of the house caved in. Valarius curled back into the shallow hole he had scratched, recoiling from the flames. Alex was trapped on the other side of the room. Between them the house, the upholstery, and the family burned. The basement was open to the sky. The day continued on. Valarius panicked. Alex didn’t.

Valarius was safe in his corner beneath what had been the west wing. Alex was trapped in a small section of the east. He could watch the sun move from there. Valarius could watch the long shadows stretch under the sharp light. Alex moved with them as he could. Valarius wanted him to jump the fire, but there was no way to survive it. They both waited. They both watched. The sun filled the ruins of the east side of the building as it drifted towards the western horizon.

It took Alex ten minutes to die. It felt longer. He didn’t try not to scream as his skin blistered and his flesh turned to ash. Valarius didn’t look away. He waited for a long time when it was over. He watched the light change colour and the night roll in. Finally he curled up in his shallow hole and waited for his turn. It never came. He woke three days later, starving and alone. Almost nothing remained of the villa, and the embers were few and far between. The fire had run out of fuel. Valarius crossed the charcoal wreckage. His scabby fingers sifted through the ash.

It was impossible to think of the ash as something that had once been someone. It was impossible to think that something as remarkable as Alex was now something as plain as ash. It was impossible to describe something as complex as grief with something as basic as language. Valarius took off into the night.

Weeks and cities passed. There was no one left. The family were all dead. There were none of his kind to be found. There was no trace of Molly to be followed. The last city had been nothing but a torturous reminder of all that had been and was gone. Now it was but an orange glow in the distance.

The house fire was over, but Valarius could still feel the heat of it on his skin. It followed him wherever he went. There was still nowhere to go. He crested the top of the hill and he stopped. The chill had never bothered him, but now more than ever he was numb to his surroundings. The very edge of the sky was kissed pink against the darkness. He stood on the barren hilltop, looked to the dawn, and waited for the sun to rise.